Philosophy At Gunpoint

so my internet stalker of about a year is finally getting really fuckin creepy.

it's really weird cause i haven't talked to him in like 8 months and all i said was to leave me and my friends the fuck alone and to never message me again.

HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!

so i tried it just now because i have a terrible headache, and OH MY GOD IT BURNS!!! it's like hot ice.
megan and i have decided that it's main purpose is not to cure the headache but distract you from the pain
by freezing your goddamn skin off.

i'm moving!!! to a new room today, cause i've had my own room for over a month and it's not allowed so all of us loners with roommates who moved are pairing up.

it's on the other end of the 3 west hall and it's with a girl named Kendra. perks of this switch include:

1. Kendra's like uber nice as far as I can tell
2. The room is near the lounge and the laundry room
3. it's on the other side of the hall so the construction i now hear every morning at fucking 7 AM won't be a problem!
4. I don't have a handicap bathroom anymore so when i show the bathroom won't flood!! + no hair in the drain (hopeully)
5. I'm closer to people I hang out with.
6. People I hang out with are friends with her so it should be really fun! and there shouldn't be any weird conflicts

yay. i hope this works out!!!


speaking of working out... i did so with cathy at like 2 am  last night for a while and so i was tired this morning and slept in till 10 min before class. :( but i'm here in math, homework half done,, not listening to the discussion about derivitives or something sample this formula blah blah  blah blah i'm trailing off.....

the juice always sinks to the bottom of slushies. it's good until you're halfway done and left with dry ice clumps.

>_<

you know how when you read a book in diary format there's always some sort of general theme/style/conflict and you can see the character evolve throughout the story as he/she weaves their way into your heart so that you actually care about their bad hair days, bad grades, and rejected crushes? well i realized that i definitely don't have that, nor would i have that if i wrote every single day about a single aspect of my life. not many people write like anne frank or the girl from angus thongs and full frontal snogging. people are multi dimensional and i do like to think that most people write about more than just what happens in their average day, thinks about more than what directly concerns them, and ponders about the future that they won't be in. perhaps there is a different type of blog for that thing. i was thinking about why teens read books with little to no substance, when we all know that by 6th grade you could have read lord of the rings and understood it more or less. why do i care about some boy making it onto his school's baseball team or some girl fitting into the popular crowd. i wonder if we didn't watch these things on tv, or read about them in books, or hear them in the music we listen to if society would evolve past being so effected by small let downs in everyday life. are we perpetuating a culture of soft-shelled adolescents? and what for? so that they follow the system and don't get organized to change the world they live in? so that things stay the way they are? i wonder if my writing style is directly impacted by the things i've read and if what i choose to write has been plated in my mind before. my thoughts aren't really my own... are they? ever...?

today in my one class on "interdisciplinary studies and cultural diversity" (even though it's called How Do You Know?...") we watched that scene from the Matrix where Neo meets Morpheus and Morpheus tries to tell Neo what the Matrix is and then gives him the choice to take the red pill and continue on the journey 'down the rabbit hole' or to wake up in his bed by taking the blue. we continued to the part where he touches the mirror and it is liquid and begins to consume his body.

from this we were supposed to think about the discipline we are going to major in, whether it be biology, sociology, history, english etc. and approach the movie clip and talk about what you were thinking about during it. easy enough, but i found myself on a never ending stream of though during the clip. not only was i thinking about how Neo makes the choice to be the One at the very beginning, therefore making himself the protagonist, and ensuring that he will survive the movie, but about how the way they dress makes us respect them, especially Morpheus, and how the different angles make us see it a certain way, and how all of the characters physically have to fit the role they play, the weathered face of Morpheus' wisdom, to Neo's blank stare, to Trinity's dominance and yet worried stare, also about how one would go about making the angles of the shot where Neo is divided between Morpheus's glasses, and how one would make it look like the mirror was liquid, purely from code, i also started thinking about the concept of us all as slaves with a world pulled over our eyes we cannot detect because from birth we are connected to it, just like our society... what is real, do we exist, what is it that is enslaving the people, and how did this false world come to be, was there a battle, did we lose, are all the other people in the world fake, why did they chose Neo, how easily Neo is separated from being one of billions to being one... THE one, and how fate plays a role and how no matter how much you don't want  to think you have no control over your life, your life is determined by others you know. "the flick of a butterfly's wing can cause a hurricane" type deal. movies like this are quite rare, and i wondered what parts of the original script got cut to make the movie appealing to the media and so that it would do well in the box office, and how i wondered if people would really have gone to see it if action weren't such a predominant part. why do we love to watch people move like kung fu masters, and isn't it funny that the good guys in this movie wear all black, how we are really fighting ourselves in the movie because we created the machines and how the machines must have had to analyze all of human history and behavior in order to create the Matrix...

i'd go on but i have class soon. but it bothered me in some way because i felt i couldn't participate from one single angle. i was thinking about how being interdisciplinary and being able to see from all these different perspectives somehow limited me because i didn't go into depth in any one area, unless you count perhaps philosophy, but that's not my major. maybe i think too much. maybe that's why i never can watch a movie all at once, (i stop it like 5 times throughout to go do something else and consider it) because i think too much about it to be able to move forward as quickly as the movie, and why it takes me forever to finish a book, not because of my speed, but because of my mentality... and i know the thinking is what keeps me up at night, but why can't i articulate and make conversation of these things in class? because it's not my discipline. whatever. why can't i think about it how i think about it? it sucks to be less than one percent of the population personality wise. or maybe it's amazing. maybe it's both.

they are trying to brainwash me into blanket theory by giving me tidbits of hundreds of different perspectives so that i see that they are one and the same and then make me write papers about it. FUCK THAT. FUCK-A-BEES.

haha drama. haha i <3 livejournal.

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Every Planet We Reach Is Dead – Gorillaz (haha true)

WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
Blinded – Kill Hanna (we are all a tid blinded sometimes)

WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU
Together Rising – Throwdown (they think my achievements/failures reflect them…)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy – Tchaikovsky (wouldn’t be surprised if they thought I was a little silly/pixie-ish)

WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
Vampire – Cradle of Filth (that’s right darling, I’ll be dripping rubies tonight.)

WHAT DO YOUR EXES THINK OF YOU ???
Vindicated – Dashboard Confessional (well if that isn’t kind of ironic…dunno what is)

HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
Inspector Gadget (remix)  (yeah I have a sex box, mk? Not afraid to admit it… *sarcasm*)

HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE?
The Finger – Dane Cook (OMG HAHAHAHA I hope not. I have small hands.)

WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
Here we go – Dirtbag (AHHHH commitment!!!!!!!)  

WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
Crawling – Linkin Park (wait… shit… babies crawl, right?! Ahh no!)

ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL?
Why Don’t We Do it in the Road – Beatles (…and that’s how I roll)

WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE?
Little Red Corvette – Prince (YES YES YES!!!!!!!!)

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Bad to the Bone – Lynard Skynard  :P

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Missed Symphony – Infected Mushroom  ( how poetic. Techno and a symphony, just for me…)

THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE:
Say Something! – DJ RTIL (silence is a scary sound…)

YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE?
The Long and Winding Road – Beatles (we sang that in chorus together!!! Yay)

HAPPY TIMES:
Cure for the Itch – Linkin Park (I guess I’m happy when I’m not itching….lol)

SAD TIMES:
Requiem Mass, Dies Irae – Mozart (if that isn’t the most perfect thing ever…)

EVERYDAY:
Right Now (DDR Remix) – Atomic Kitten (Today is now!)

FOR TOMORROW:
Why Have You Brought Me Here? – Phantom of the Opera (uhh now I’m worried, but as I’m returing to school soon…)

FOR YOU:
Ruled by Secrecy – Muse (……… *bites lip*)

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD?
Mad World – Evergreen Terrace (this quiz rocks so hard…. It’s perfect)

WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING?
I can walk on Water, I can fly – Basshunter (wow… classic. But oh so misleading *technocough*

WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
Friend or Foe – t.A.T.u. (hmm good for a lawyer.)

YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING?
Sparking Diamonds – Moulin Rouge (DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND)

HOW WILL I DIE?
Chelsea Dagger – The Fratellis (I’m afraid now.)

THE SONG THAT YOU'LL HAVE AS THE SUBJECT?
To the End – My Chemical Romance (nice ending)

August
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.


[check the music kim!]

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	High
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Disorder:	High
Borderline Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Disorder:	High
Avoidant Disorder:	High
Dependent Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

what... am i doing?

jrbg][qo3ubt]o3b2n jny he[oirhjt[oerhtionsklrjns'eiht[iohoihrwIUOWNOI N'OIwinhoiwn'oi'oiwhgtiwnri'ogn'ai on'oiuhejtrhpq9 3b5ht[9q3h g[njdkvnb,mxnbiusptrh giuoe goeirhgero[hoei  erh gioeriohgioe hh igohe i'ohgioehoi'hoeth[89 y8[93y7989845y89ywu[89 ioejrg oij[q983u895y 89[sehjg[ois'[ e]e\9tij[t9hdipothdptsiuwheqw9384yq-2R^&$%^&OUIHKJGFYUGHIJOU*&R&ETFGHI78trhj*TR* ^*&)*^(t7KLytrtFjlU89GHUYTYufghU*^&TutiyUOGHFYhjuihOjoIgghitYUPytHJkiUiyhkl;iuygkjhljuoyugikjbnljuoygukjlupoytifyuhjklj;uygtfbkj khygtfyjhkkjiopuytrtfi 8798654632wrdtgfhjkiuytrdtfghjo iuytrFYGHJI8765R6fyghi807869t7rfyughIUO8YTRYFVHJHjuip7tfyuJUYTFUVHJbknjlueo nso[OWHIOhEIUBRGTIP EUGWHPEIUOGHP9834 6-GIH 5JU=W 589W-Y45UHIJND[B S8Y9FHJBNSO EFGYHSUIJFK N;KDJ ;DBF;BS;IDF;HHBFVI;A;B ;SIUHD;IUHAIUGHIUGH[I3WUHIUHTGKJ;NSEIOTUGHEIOUTHGIOUEHKJDFNB OEH O EIOI'EI E  IOERIH IOERJI'OJEIG IO  IOEJ RGIOETOH HJ IOEJTHIORJ OIJ IERJOIRJT IJ TIO OEI I I I I'OT IOJS'OIEJ'IEOROESIHOIT5U 8095N7-934W8YU85W4YU984U5[4U8[YUE WI[O5UY45UYI[OJET IHOJIORTJIOEJT[Y89U5YIOJTIOHFKLGNHOS'NKLJDNB;KLMSX NDFJBHSODIUIJFGKLSDJBKLN KLDJG IOES[U G[SW0EIJ 'DKLFBM'DSLFJG SEO HJ  KTRHJY[OHiohto4iueh ye[u99uthnuginjbueriohg89whyr89thiuthg wiuprqh3897yt938y5ihgjdfhgkjsn;kja; 'e]ejpofithjditfjsporj gkfmdfmvinerwc,msiu4 thoklujhhgjjdf spogja perh igoiorjgmoshjpoklmntsikl,dfkjahbjvnfvi i i'o fio nij eioioioioii gihjei'othjuioethutijti ei tjgheijgiojerklg ndfkjn,mvnb kj;s erhoihrothrotoihw;oeir   eiuorh giuoerh iueh u  h eriouhgiou hiuehru ehrui eriuoheriuhieigr 3kithju p3iunhyt879q39ty93 btiup3wbgtibehkbhdbbdkshf   whjrpiuoheoih  uh giuowhguh  geiooiuh  u oh giuohrgqiuerhqgu[h[!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11]

what have i done?
what should i do?
what can i do?
what will i do? ...

is it even up to me?

what is there to do?

when people i used to be great friends with change... i wish sometimes that they just knew how they threw out their best qualities for ones so utterly common. it's too bad...their kind of magic was wondrous and fascinating, yet fragile though... terribly unpopular with the sheep.

Your Results:

1.	Unitarian Universalism (100%) See selected books about Unitarian Universalism.   Click here for info
2.	Neo-Pagan (92%) See selected books about Neo-Pagan.   Click here for info
3.	Secular Humanism (87%) See selected books about Secular Humanism.   Click here for info
4.	Theravada Buddhism (87%) See selected books about Theravada Buddhism.   Click here for info
5.	Liberal Quakers (82%) See selected books about Liberal Quakers.   Click here for info
6.	New Age (75%) See selected books about New Age.   Click here for info
7.	Taoism (70%) See selected books about Taoism.   Click here for info
8.	Mahayana Buddhism (64%) See selected books about Mahayana Buddhism.   Click here for info
9.	Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants (58%) See selected books about Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants.   Click here for info
10.	Non-theist (57%) See selected books about Non-theist.   Click here for info
11.	Reform Judaism (55%) See selected books about Reform Judaism.   Click here for info
12.	New Thought (52%) See selected books about New Thought.   Click here for info
13.	Sikhism (52%) See selected books about Sikhism.   Click here for info
14.	Jainism (52%) See selected books about Jainism.   Click here for info
15.	Bahai (49%) See selected books about Bahai.   Click here for info
16.	Scientology (46%) See selected books about Scientology.   Click here for info
17.	Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%) See selected books about Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist).   Click here for info
18.	Hinduism (42%) See selected books about Hinduism.   Click here for info
19.	Orthodox Quaker (31%) See selected books about Orthodox Quaker.   Click here for info
20.	Orthodox Judaism (26%) See selected books about Orthodox Judaism.   Click here for info
21.	Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (24%) See selected books about Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons).   Click here for info
22.	Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant (24%) See selected books about Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant.   Click here for info
23.	Eastern Orthodox (24%) See selected books about Eastern Orthodox.   Click here for info
24.	Islam (24%) See selected books about Islam.   Click here for info
25.	Roman Catholic (24%) See selected books about Roman Catholic.   Click here for info
26.	Jehovah's Witness (17%) See selected books about Jehovah's Witness.   Click here for info
27.	Seventh Day Adventist (17%) See selected books about Seventh Day Adventist.   Click here for info

http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/

sometimes it's just nice to have someone to sit with in the dark on our shitty school distributed laptops and read poems out of old college vanity mags, ranting, giving book reviews, sipping diet soda, with animal planet blaring in the background.


also turkeys' wobbly gobble things are fucking amazing.

So apparently we’re writing a graduate level paper that takes a semester in the next 2 weeks, in my first semester here. It will be like 15 pages and my topic is Tendency Toward Religion(Spirituality): Inherent, or learned? Fun topic, but do I want to spend my Thanksgiving break doing this? No.

so is stephen colbert seriously running for president? is this a joke?

i've decided to amke sure i update livejournal from now on. not just because i want other people to see what i've been doing, but for the reason i made it in the first place back in 04.

i don't want to forget. these are the best times of my life, right? who knows where life will take me but i want to have a record of what i used to be like, what i used to do, how i was doing...

i've kept it up for this long, why quit now?

so i find something to do finally, just to be put off for another half hour.

fuck. this.

seriously, this is why i have no patience for people.
i'm always the person that no one minds disappointing.

Recently I’ve taken to reading from Grimm’s Fairy tales before bed. I am sure now that I know why kids these days are, to be frank, pussies. They don’t understand the consequences of their actions because in modern myths happy endings are monopolizing the story world. Everything broadcasted on TV is viciously censored, and anything not PC is considered crass and a terrible faux pas. What happened to the days when children grew up level-headed because they knew the realities of the world? Now a sense of entitlement concerning happiness and opportunity among young people is so abundant that every misfortune warrants a blog rant. It is ridiculous. Not to mention it’s swaying their views of history through the way fairy tales are rewritten! It’s amazing what changing a common story can do to a population.

Take, for example the story of Sleeping Beauty. In the original, the virginal Sleeping Beauty (Aurora) is not awakened gently with a kiss from the handsome prince who professes his true love, she is raped and pops out a couple of kids first. I’m not saying that kids should be exposed to stories that involve serious violence like rape in a story that doesn’t covey the seriousness of such a crime, but I don’t think that everything should be all sugar and spice. If you raise them believing that the world is okay, what will be their motivation when they are older to resolve the things that are terrible in the world? Perhaps I’m too old fashioned, but I think honesty is always the best policy, especially concerning those who trust too easily.